April 20, 2006
Let's put things into perspective!
Subject: trip to mexico
Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements.
I know you can help with this.
I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
YOUR NAME HERE
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Comments
Sure thing. Glad I could help. It's kinda cool seeing my name on your site.
Cheers
Fucking brilliant post Kurt!
jaja, as ironic as this could sound, all off that crap posted, is happening here in mexico, don't worry, all of you comming to Mexico will be treated as a person.
God bless Kurt - You rock!!!
Dear Traveler,
We can absloutly help with that request. Although we do need for you to qualify for our no hassle package.
1. You must sneak in. I reccomend you look very poor and make a run accross one of the borders in California or Texas. Dont bring too much stuff becuase it will be a nice long run.
2. Try to bring a big american corporation with you, you know in mexico they barely have to pay employees so feel free to open up a factory there and not provide any of the employees with proper pay or healthcare.
3. I get requests like this all the time, but they are mostly from convicts that are running from the law and are hiding out. So i need to make sure you have a clean legal record before you can start your run.
4. Are you asking about free medical healthcare like we have in the states? Because if that is what you want, no problem. Done.
5. We have plenty of nice jobs available for the all access pass, please respond with all the appropriate documentation and choice of job you would like to do in mexico.
a- lanscaping
b- Janitorial Services
c- Restaurant related Janitorial Services
d- Mariachi Musician
e- Working for American Company
6. The all access pass guarantees that you will be treated just like americans treat mexicans here in the Good Ol' US, you are going to love it!
Only thing i cant help you with is the english thing. I am still getting the hang of that myself and it wouldnt be fair to ask an entire to country to learn such a difficult language.
P.S. I got similar requests from some people in the south reguarding africa. Now it has different requirements but they have lots of work available, especially in the manual labor department.
get over it... this post is weak.
Unlike most bigoted americans im sure that mexicans would not mind offering those services to american immigrants..for all of you taht do not know 15% of our countrt speaks spanish and why not offer mexican history when we all learn european history. I hope i don't have to read any of these close minded postings anymore.
Unlike most bigoted americans im sure that mexicans would not mind offering those services to american immigrants..for all of you taht do not know 15% of our countrt speaks spanish and why not offer mexican history when we all learn european history. I hope i don't have to read any of these close minded postings anymore.
All the damned illegals can suck my Red, White and Blue balls! This land is our land!
"Our land" was built by immigrants
wasted1 is correct. Our Land was built by LEGAL immigrants! LEGAL being the important word there!!!
Wait - Added items to Trip to Mexico
1. You forgot to have all the ATMS in Mexico must have Engish access on them - screw learning Mexican.
2. I also expect to have free schooling for me and my family if I choose to live in Mexico. I also expect College for free for my family - come on let the locals pay for me and my family - I'm an immigrant you dumb Americans!
3. When I call a Business or Government I expect to be able to choose English on the phone - Screw learning Mexican - you gotta be kidding me!
4. I also expect to have a ID card - Social Security card with all 0's in case I need an ID. 000-00-0000 in case I am asked for ID I need proof I am me!
5. You local people can suck my Mexican dick - I want you to pay for me. I am too lazy to learn your language and I want medical coverage, schooling for me and my family's overall welfare paid for with you stupid assholes paying for it. Gotta love you asshole Americans!
All the damned illegals can suck my Red, White and Blue balls! This land is our land!
Excellent Post! Thanks for putting thinggs into perspective
kinda funny/phoney how that is exactly what we did to the indians (native americans)....
all of our founding father had one thing in common no not christianity - they were all immigrants.... illegal at that!!!
also if youre really concerned about tax dollars, focusing on mexicans is the wrong area...focus on the iraqis .... we spend more there per person then we do for all americans/mexicans here!!!
also if you want some real ammunition for how screwed up our country will be if we treat mexicans with some respect, just remind others how terrible and economically unviable our country became after we made another spanish speaking country citizens..puerto rico!! you remember how that destroyed our country??? We have never recovered and now our country is on the verge of collapse..
Im a true American,Im not from over seas and I don't hate you.Only because Im proud ,to be american does't mean I hate you.yes Im proud to be Mexican Im From America true american.
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