Smart kid...

A father passing by his son's bedroom was
astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and
everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the
envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm
writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I
wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she
is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because
of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and
the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not
only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with the other people that live
nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get
better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and
I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that
we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there
are worse things in life than the report card that's in
my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's
safe to come home.

Thanks for the email PokeyPuppy. BTW, you're still a homo! ;-)