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My Rant : 6 Things I could do without

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Is it just me who doesn't get the latest "techno-crap" ?


1:Texting : This is the most ridiculous thing ever ! It would've been cool in the 80's Besides, Shit you got a phone in your hands ! - My Status on it : I never texted and never ever will.

2 : Tweetter : I'm not too sure wtf it is but it seems excesive anyways! - My Status on it : I am Not a Twit

3: Iphone/Blackberry: seriously...what's the fucking deal ?! It's a fucking PHONE ! Keep paying more attention to it than to your girl, I'm sure she doesn't mind :| - My Status on it : I had a cell phone 3 years, been without for 10 years and I LOVE IT.

4:Facebook/MySpace : Must everyone know how you felt/feel or what you did/are doing or what movie/music you like right now this very moment ? No. Guess what we don't care, there's a reason you lost touch with 'em 10. 20 years ago! - My Status on it : I'm on facebook, What ? I too wanted to see what my exs look like...YIKES !

5: H.D and BLUERAY : Shit I didn't need this shit ! Maybe I'm running out of arguements but WTF was wrong with my old flatscreen and DVDplayer ? Nothing - My Status on it : I own neither and plan on fighting my wife till my last breath.

6: Bluetooth-cyborg-ear...again Seriously ? WTF ? if you're anywhere but in a moving vehicule with this plugged in your ear, well, sorry to be blunt but you're an ass, inside a restaurant, eating, you're the coolest guy on earth, and everyone wishes they were you - Hum.
- My Status on it : LMAO

I'm not saying those gadgets aren't cool at all, it all comes down to too much useless information. But remember when we use to draw on cave walls, euh sorry I meant remember when we were out and people couldn't reach us everywhere

allll the time, and we were free...
man that was great.

Astaroth : Demon-Lord, father of 3

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HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF... I think my wife has read this list!

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1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Gamera and I were pros at this one.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in technical papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. Hey! That's not nice! ;-)
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. Been there, done that.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. I use a green laser. It works!
30. Sing along at the opera. I WILL NOT GET STUCK AT AN OPERA TO TRY THIS ONE!
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
33. And last but not least, center all of the text on a really long list of ways to tick people off so that it's difficult to read. ;-)

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The Worst Comic Book Movie Adaptations... Couldn't have said it better myself...

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Click to see all 21...

Some of these had so much potential. Why can't they have made Judge Dread with someone other than Stallone!? Shit, it would have been better with Tom Cruise for shits sake.

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Top 10 Signs You're Flat Broke

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Top 10 Signs You're Flat Broke

1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

2. You wash your toilet paper

3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

4. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.

5. Long distance companies don't call you to switch anymore.

5. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

6. At communion you go back for seconds.

7. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

8. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

9. You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice.

10. McDonald's supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

Honorable Signs:

Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
You have to save up to be poor.
You're in college.
You owe yourself money.
Your imaginary friend has more money than you.
On thanksgiving your dad would bring home a picture of a thanksgiving meal.
You are sterilizing your urine for reconsumption.
Your rob Peter... and then rob Paul.

Post yours in the comments section.

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AFI's 100 YEARS...100 MOVIES

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I haven't seen a lot of these movies, but I printed the entire list and plan to watch them all now. The one thing I noticed is that there are VERY few comedies on the list. I think 3 of my top 10 were mentioned. How the hell is FRANKENSTEIN listed, that was isn't a movie you can watch over and over. I would have loved to see Rambo on there...

The Top Ten:

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)

2. CASABLANCA (1942)

3. THE GODFATHER (1972)

4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)

5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)

6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)

7. THE GRADUATE (1967)

8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)

9. SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)

10. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)

Click here for the rest of the list...

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Top 10 War Movies

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Top 10's are often not very accurate since we all have different tastes, like i found a Top 100 Guitar Hero list that had Eddie Van Halen at # 70...wtf ! anyways...I was surprised to see MY #1 War Movie is actually Number one on that list too ! Too bad they didnt include BAND OF BROTHERS ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0185906/ ), I know it's a miniserie not a movie,still, it's the best WWII "Movie" Ever...If you still haven't seen it, Go rent/buy/download/borrow/steal it already !

TOP 10 WAR MOVIES http://ca.askmen.com/toys/top_10_60/83_top_10_list.html

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Worst Movie$ of all Time

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This is a BOX OFFICE worst list, meaning the ones that didnt make enough money to even pay back the costs of making the movie. So if your Worst Movie Ever isnt on this list, let us know what it is.

http://www.virgin.net/movies/toptens/boxofficeflops.html

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Top 10 Worst Jobs in Science

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Popular Science magazine has once again published their Top 10 Worst Jobs in Science List.
I don't know........ some of them sound better than my job as a computer programmer.

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The Top 40 Magazine Covers of the Past 40 Years

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Click here to see all 40.
I always liked the naked pregnant Demi Moore on Vanity Fair myself.

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Chicago, Top Destination Of People Who Rent U-Hauls......

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U-Haul, celebrating 60 years of serving the do-it-yourself household moving industry, today released results of the 2004 U-Haul National Migration Trend Report titled Top 50 U.S. Destination Cities Report. According to moving data reflective of nationwide statistics for calendar year 2004, Chicago takes the No. 1 spot pushing Atlanta out of its four-year pole position, while Orlando, Fla. attained the second position. Los Angeles, Calif. moved to No. 3, up from No. 10 from last year's ranking. Houston garnered fourth down one spot from last year's ranking and Sacramento, Calif. followed with fifth place. Atlanta, New York, Denver, Las Vegas and Dallas rounded out the top 10.

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Top 10 worst movies according to me...

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I'm sure there's some that I couldn't think should be here but these have been scarred into my memory... What are your lists?

10. The Whole 10 Yards
9. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
8. Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
7. The Hulk
6. Lone Star
5. Hollywood Homicide
4. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
3. Batman & Robin
2. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

and...

1. The movie which can not be named... Sorry I swore an oath to never acknowledge the existence of this movie. Maybe someone I know will post the IMDB URL...

NOTE: I intentionally left out kid movies and chick flicks for the most part. Otherwise I would have been trying to work this out for weeks...

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Top 100 Movies Of ALL Time (according to me)....

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This is another new category I would like to start. I have compiled several lists and I would like to post them here and see what y'all think. Post a comment with your own choices or if you agree or disagree with mine.
Here are the top 10. You can go here to see 11 through 100.

  1. PULP FICTION
  2. RAINMAN
  3. THE FUGITIVE
  4. ALL THE PRESIDENTS MEN
  5. SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
  6. A FEW GOOD MEN
  7. APOLLO 13
  8. LOST IN AMERICA
  9. THE GODFATHER
  10. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

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